Thursday, December 28, 2006

So I was at the Princeton alums/applicants gathering yesterday and there are 3 (!!!) kids from the area who got in early decision, including a very, very sharp classmate of mine (The Procrastinator, if you're wondering). Congratulations to them, but seriously! I was talking to them and all the conversations went like this:

ME: So what'd you do over the summer?
THEM: Oh, nothing much, just won a nat'l level competition/mastered a new language/built a device that detects bacteria in water supplies (not kidding about this one)/cured cancer, you?

And my plaintive cry continued: WHERE ARE ALL THE NORMAL PEOPLE!??!?!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

hehe. Also see thep ost a few years ago about a LeBron James-dominated March Madness

Friday, August 18, 2006

Mind if I have some of this tasty beverage to wash down your tasty burger?

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Saturday, July 08, 2006

The Bambach Strategem OR How to Win at Lasertag, Munchkin-style

It is a well-known principle of Laser Tag that there are certain unwritten rules which one does not violate, e.g. one does not place one's hand over one's own receptor to block unfriendly lasers.

When these rules are tweaked for one's own purposes, one becomes a MUNCHKIN. See the wikipedia definition:

A Munchkin is a player who plays a normally cooperative game (usually a role-playing game) to amass as much power and as many kills as possible, whatever the costs to role-playing, the storyline, fairness, logic, or the other players' fun. The term is also frequently used in reference to powergamers and to immature players in general.

Actually, that's not always a bad thing...competition is the spirit of the game right? For example, Michael Jordan was a Munchkin in basketball, and look how good he turned out. On the other hand, you have to have non-Munchkin players as well (John Stocktons) to keep the game fun.

Today's case study in Munchkin-ness of Laser Tag is the namesake of the Bambach Strategem, first applied and identified during a ghetto laser tag game at Scallywagtagalagfragsagmag or whatever the place is called.

In abstract:

She. Followed. Me. Around. The. Entire. Friggin'. Game. And. Shot. Me. In. The. Back. Again. and Again. and Again.

(Note to the Big 3: me writing about her shooting me in the back is not meant to be symbollic of anything.)

This is just not cool, especially when she gets lots and lots and lots of points for shooting her friend Harrison.

Did I meantion she shot me IN THE BACK?

She didn't even have the courtesy to pretend she just coincidentally kept bumping into me- she followed me through the maze, getting the timing and rhythm down so just when my system recovered from being shot and I was at full status, she would shoot me again.

There will be a price to pay, mark my words...*starts singing*

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

To both of the females who read this:

Monday, July 03, 2006

Fun with Facebook

Yeah, this really is a lot of fun. I'm not really sure why. (Thanks to Brian for the invite). It's wasting aaaaaaaalllllll my time.

Saturday, July 01, 2006

A White Man's Guide to Understanding 2nd Generation Minorities
I'm back (from outer space) and my God I'm tired and depressed and emo and have finally revealed myself to be FUBAR instead of the nice guy I (nominally) pretend to be.

More on that later.

But now, for some lightheartedness:

On the plane ride home from Cedar Rapids to Chicago, I sat next to a girl named Jesica  (happy b-day, btw) who was 2nd generation Dominican Republican/Ecuadoran (Ecuadorean? Ecuadean? Ecuadorriano?) and we had a nice discussion about the Next Generation (cue music) of minorities.

I had this whole post planned out and it was supposed to be deep and profound but I completely forget what I was going to write.

BUT since she worked as a barista at Starbucks in Miami, I can tell you that café cubano is just very, very dark, very, very concentrated coffee.

Also, half-Polish half-Korean people are cool.

Saturday, June 24, 2006

I need inspiration fast! Help me (I need to write 15 pages worth of story and "Sunny Dare" isn't working out too well for me...)

Friday, June 23, 2006

Dumb stuff (paraphrased from Joe):

Good health is just the slowest rate at which one can die

How is it that it only takes one match to start a forest fire but it takes an entire box to start a campfire?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

And speaking of matches, give a man a match and he's warm for five seconds; light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.

Damn printkeys.

Sunday, June 18, 2006

First Day in Iowa

First of all, it's the "Hawkeyes", not the "Cornhuskers", as I originally thought. The Writer's Workshop here is a lot more tightly run than Kenyon Review one; it looks like I'll be doing actual work here instead of doing my stream-of-consciousness thing.

Now to the important stuff:

-The ratio is 36-24 them, which is good, not as good as Kenyon, but Still Alright
-Our teacher's name is Anjali, yet she looks nothing like what I expected
-Food = passable
-Roommate seems cool, but very very quiet.
-We have to write a major piece to "workshop" and I came this close *holds fingers very close together* to writing something that would have instantly marked me as either gay or VERY effeminate. Why is it that I can never get the Hiroshima story out of my head? Right now I'm torn between going with what I have (a one finger salute from the wingmen of the world to those who abuse them), a Locke and Hobbes story, or *possibly* the Masefield idea. But who knows.
-I saw him, didn't believe my eyes, and then saw him again as he came up to me. Matt "There's a Lion in my Stomach" is here!!! WTF!?!?!??!?!?!??! KYW continues to haunt me....

Saturday, June 17, 2006

Tomorrow, Tomorrow...
Yeah I will be gone from June 18th to July 1st to try to drown out my Kiddie Angst with writing. Hopefully I will be able to continue to update from there; if not, it's going to be a very miserable Internet-less two weeks.

Please leave some messages of hope and appreciation, or maybe of sympathy for You-Know-Who, or funny inside jokes, or requests to see Love Burns. I'll probably be lonely as hell while I'm there.

Thursday, June 15, 2006


So why do I feel so $#!^-y?

Monday, February 06, 2006