Dumb stuff (paraphrased from Joe):
Good health is just the slowest rate at which one can die
How is it that it only takes one match to start a forest fire but it takes an entire box to start a campfire?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
And speaking of matches, give a man a match and he's warm for five seconds; light a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.