Thursday, November 06, 2008

Keys to Life
I had a math teacher once who taught us all these quirky little sayings that were supposed to help us remember otherwise arbitrary information. She called them her "Keys to Life" (she would actually write "Keys to Life" on the board) and it would go like this:

Teacher: Remember, vectors are "the one to which it points, minus the one from *whence* it came".
Student: "Whence"? [WTF!??!?]
Teacher: If you use that weird little word, you will never forget that key.

And I never did. But I thought to myself, math isn't the only realm that has keys to life. So I went around and asked some folks (regular contributors to the blog) what they thought were the Keys to Life:

That Girl
1) The polar, amphoteric nature of water. Without water, most of the major chemical and biological processes essential to life would be unable to function.
2) Carbon's ability to form stable organic compounds at room temperatures, which form the basis for polymers essential to life.
3) Loudon's Principles of Organic Chemistry, which explains the above two observations.

The Roommate
1) If you lose a game of DoTA, it's because you have bad picks. It's NEVER because you played bad.
2) If you win a game of DoTA, it's because you played great. It's NEVER because your opponent played bad.

1) No blondes. Ever.
2) Always tip the bartender.
3) Don't let the first time you have sex be the first time you've put on a condom.
4) If it feels good, it's a sin.
5) If it feels really good, it's a mortal sin.
6) If it feels really really really good, stick it back in your pants.

1) Shoot them in the back before they shoot you.
2) No mushrooms, ever.
3) No popcorn, ever.
4) I never have, never do, and never will watch anime. Ever. Do you hear that, Mark?

1) Cheetos before liquor, never been sicker.
2) Always make sure you have makeup remover before you try to put on an Emo costume for Halloween.
3) Bros before hos.
4) Unless she's really something.

1) Sleep early, and sleep often.

1) Make sure your glucagon shot is labeled CLEARLY
3) Try to maintain a blood sugar level of about 135
5) Don't be a negative Nancy

1 comment:

A.J. said...

What about:

Moaning children in your car's backseat cause accidents, but moaning accidents in your car's backseat cause kids?