Tuesday, December 02, 2008

Glossary of Terms
Here are some useful words and phrases to remember when reading this blog:

"Chupa 2 Bad", as in "This test was Chupa 2 bad":
Something so terrible that it approaches the awfulness of Chupacabra Dos: Dios Ayudenos, one of those movies that's so bad it's funny, except it's not funny.

"But we didn't even put down the barbarians!":
A reference to AJ's infamous boardgame, which, much like Duke Nukem Forever, is perpetually being upgraded with brilliant new features but will probably not be released. Ever.

"I can't stop dancing":
One of J's many, many, many different catchphrases, often preceded with "This sucks, but..."

"HOBO WITH A SHOTGUN": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qttBPCVQsc8

"The Blacklist":
A hypothetical list containing various films/sounds/books/activities which are forbidden for the holder since they contain too many painful memories from previous relationships.

"Orange Eve":
The night before J's (100*n)th day of wearing an item of orange clothing every day.

"The Cuteness Rule":
You and your partner should be on the same level of cuteness or a negative level of cuteness. The ultimate litmus test, of course, is if you show someone a picture of the two of you together. If their immediate reaction is:
"That's a cute picture of you [and your gf/bf/whatever]": you're cuter than your loved one. No worries.
"Aww, you guys are so cute together": same level of cuteness. Be careful; this could be a warning sign.
"Aww, she/he's really cute": She/he is at least one level of cuteness above you. Start counting your days.
"Hrmm. [Internally: I can't believe you're tapping that]": Two levels of cuteness above you, and you're screwed. Get a good divorce lawyer/friend on retainer.

"To Sketch":
A verb meaning to make someone feel simultaneously guilty, naughty, sexually violated, titillated, flirted with, and creeped out. Also compare with the term "sketchiness". Note that being sketchy is a mostly verbal/perceptual art, and requires a strict no-contact policy.

"IFMEH"/"IFGAH"/"IFEM"/"IFKERR"/"IFKATH" etc. etc.:
State secret, sorry.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

The barbarians have been replaced with semi-autonomous, tribal like factions controlled by internal logarithms. These function quite similarly to a computer game, but are powered by a peg and rope style of programming, first perfected by Heron over 2000 years ago, so that the game is unique every time you play. Barbarians will no longer be "placed," but rather will moved into position via the magnetic plates located under the playing surface.