Thursday, March 12, 2009

My First NBA Game

So my father scored ridiculously cheap tickets to see the Jazz play the Pacers ($15 apiece in the second tier) and we went to go see them play, since:

1) The Jazz feature Carlos Boozer, rocking a shaven scalp and goatee/moustache combo that makes me think he should be ordering around the Brotherhood of Nod


2) I had never been to an NBA game.

I do have to say, it wasn't quite as bad as you might expect. As I discovered earlier this year, it's a lot more fun to watch relatively competent teams (the Jazz are #5 or 6 in the league) than teams that are hovering around .400 and tanking for lottery picks. Contrary to popular belief, there are teams in the NBA that run an offense not called the "Everybody Stand Around and Watch One Guy Post-up/Take-His-Guy-Off-The-Dribble-One-on-One and Then Miss a 10-Foot-Bank Shot" Offense. And while I still disagree with Jay that the NBA is so much more fun to watch because the players are so much more skilled, I do have to agree that watching teams that can routinely hit shots in traffic or from the outside is kinda cool.

Having said that, the white farm boy inside me cringes every time I see a lazy screen, a bad switch, and missed rebounding opportunities. *shakes head* Anyways, here's some tidbits about the experience:

-The arena had waitresses running up and down the aisles taking food orders and delivering them, a nice touch that I wouldn't have laughed at so much if our waitress didn't look exactly like a chubby version of Jennifer Aniston (she even had the Season 1 Jennifer Aniston haircut).

-The Pacers honored several members of the Indianapolis Police Department who went to Iraq/Afghanistan, then came back and went right back to working in the Indianapolis PD. A classy touch, and the standing ovation they got made me feel good about America.

-The little kids sitting behind me hitting each other with trucks as their dad yelled at them to stop hitting each other so he could watch the game also made me feel good about America.

-During the numerous TV timeouts (side note: if there's a two-minute break every three minutes of play, why doesn't everyone just press all the time?!??!) they had a number of shall we say...interesting shows going on the court while the teams huddled to complain about their contracts, such as:

-Rastafarians: cool. Little girls dancing: cute. Little girls dressed as Rastafarians (not making this up): not cool, and not cute either.

-The Purdue Dance Team also gave a performance to remind everyone that the Big Ten tournament is coming up. I imagine they would make almost as good of a basketball team- OK, that was mean, and I won't finish the thought. But on a side note, they also featured a blond and bubbly member who looked exactly like a happy version of a classmate of mine with the unfortunate name of Cox-Schraider (say it out loud).

-Mascots dunking via trampoline: cool.

-Had Bush invaded the t-shirt cannon building factory in Indiana instead of Iraq, he might have found his WMDs after all. Those things are lethal.

Oh, and the Jazz won.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Some Irreverently Happy Days in My Life (i.e., headlines for stories I may write someday)

-The Day I Won Two Different Quiz Team Matches on Last-Second Responses, and J Told Me I Was As Clutch As Troy Brown

-The Day Malcolm Jenkins Did the Jump Around:

-The Day I Finished The Last 7 Hours of Mass Effect

-The Day I Discovered the Student Store Gives Out Free Donuts After 10 PM

-The Day I Heard "Snow Crash" On Audiotape at the Apple Store

-The Day I Improvised the Smoothest Pick-up Line Ever (and Almost Cracked My Head Open)

-The Day I Found My Way to the Steak and Shake on the West Side Even Though My Directions Were Wrong

-The Day Sloan Was Calling It "The War of Northern Aggression" and I Said "Scoreboard"

-The Day I Saw the Gym Class Video for the First Time:

-The Day I Saw the Lazy Sunday Video for the First Time:

-The Day We Beat "da Rain" on a Last Second Daaah-rius TD that I Almost Missed

-The Day We Locked Julie Out of AP Psych and Tried to Watch "Space Jam"