The Death List Five
If I were The Bride and wanted to murder five people for no particular reason, here's who I would pick:
1) Whoever put the "E" in "ESPN" and absolutely destroyed our ability to receive anything like unbiased sports coverage.
2) Marshall McLuhan: Because I had to read his stuff for two different classes.
3) Richard Dawkins: Self-explanatory.
4) The corporate executive at Halliburton who decided to buy CollegeBoard/ETS and turn it from a small, family-values based operation to a national bastion of evil.
5) John Calipari: Again, self-explanatory.