Thursday, November 26, 2009

On a day such as this,
When surrounded by family and food,
A quaint moment might make one miss,
Dollhouse, and also some Ood*.

For them and for many things I am thankful,
For the Internet, as invented by Al Gore,
For socks that reach only one's ankle,
For warm weather in North Carolina, and more.

But most of all, when all is done and said,
When tryptophan works its biomolecular magic,
And the six cousins under 10 are finally in bed:

My thoughts do turn to those my friends, who make
my life worth more than coins in hand
and find that I am worth something to them.

But the quality of friendship is not
Strained like tears from Carolina fans when
Jason Williams drops almost forty points.
Instead it is like dollar bills when Pac-
Man Jones goes to the local Deja Vu's.

For that I love them and for more things than I can count
And also I should say I value them for reading this this far.**

But though the devil
May try and pry them from me
Like stone I resist.

Will I trade my friends away?

Will I trade them for a goat?
Will I trade them for a boat?
Will I trade them in Japan?
Will I trade them with The Man?
Will I trade them for some fame?
Will I trade them if they're lame?
Will I trade them at good rates?
Will I trade them inside crates?
Will I trade them during Red Rover?
Will I trade them if I'm sober?
Will I trade them in outer space?
Will I trade them for my friend's Mace?
Will I trade them for a job?***
Will I trade them for Carab[bas, a faux-Italian restaurant chain]

No!!!!!1!!!1 I say.

I will not trade them for a goat,
Or if you make me a fool in Bash.org quotes,
I will not trade them in Japan,
And you know I hate the Man,
I will not trade them for some fame,
I'm writing poetry on Thanksgiving- that's pretty lame,
I will not trade them if I'm drunk,
Or if you offer me the entire Alive 2007 album by Daft Punk,
I will not trade them for champaign,
I will not trade them for Colerain [comma A victory against]

Like diamonds, I will not trade them in the sub-Sahara,
I will not trade them for sauce of marinara,
I will not trade them for straight A's,
I will not trade them for some Lay's,
As my triglycerides are too high,
And in fact my doctor thought that I might die [someday],
They are worth far too much to me,
Like that fish from the Old Man and the Sea,
Your hypothetical bargain is just like Faust,
And my response is as long as Proust,
If Proust broke his hand and couldn't write past the first page.

For this Thanksgiving I am grateful,
That I have friends as precious as gems,
And not as sparkly or easily stolen.

Have a wonderful, Turkey-filled rest of your evening. I am proud, grateful and glad to call you my friends. Thank you for everything.

*Go watch the David Tennant Dr. Who series, you Philistine.
**Yeah, iambic pentameter is not my preferred form, even if "Jason Williams" is a perfect pair of feet.
***Let's face it, the economy is pretty bad.

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